Hash, Flour Power, Bunny Costumes and My Little Pecker

Monday night this week was the first time I got to lead the Hash with the Guildford Hash House Harriers. As the 'Hare' I got to pick my own route for the run. I chose the woods nearest to me because I know them so well.

I set off at 5pm from my house with 6kgs of flour in my rucksack and ran from my house to Hydons Ball where the route i was planning would run.

laying a circle in flour means runners must seek out the correct path from this point

I ran up Hydons Ball with flour in hand getting funny looks from people as I laid small piles of flour at convenient spaces all along my intended route.

As well as laying marks for the route you lay circles at various crossings of paths with multiple options. In doing this the front running bastards (fast runners) have to run down all of the possible routes for a distance until they find the next flour marker and shout 'On On' ! This also gives the knitting circle (slow runners) the chance to catch up so the group as a whole stays fairly close together during the run.

X marks the spot where youve been stitched up

You can also be a sadistic Hare and run people up a very steep hill only to find and X at the top denoting a false trail. This means they have to run all the way back and try again.....and yes....I did this.




Smearsing (smiling with my ears)


The sun set while I laid the trail which totalled 4.5 miles which is the recommended distance for a hash. I had my headphones in and had a great time running out the trail. When I finished back where I started at the car park at Hydons Ball I ran down to the Merry Harriers Pub in Hambledon where all the hashers would be meeting at 7.30 pm. I had 45 minutes spare when I got there so in true hashing spirit I relaxed with a nice Pint of Pilgrim and chatted to the locals with a pink bunny tail pinned on my bum and bunny ears on my head.

The Merry Harriers is a really lovely, friendly country pub in Hambledon and well worth a visit. Its a rare gem that balances good beer and great food but avoids the 'Surrey prices' . Its also got its portrait in the Tate Gallery in London! They are quiet on a Monday and usually take the chance for a well earned rest and shut early but they were willing to stay open just for us.

The Hash went well and I couldnt resist making part of the route along the Greensand Way . Scrum Muffin (Claire) and I got a great pic of us at one of the Greensand Way Markers .

Greensand Way Night Hashing

As the run came to the end and we got back near the pub the traditional 'On Inn' mark I had left near the pub had been butchered by Popeye. This seems to happen on a lot on hashes. Although the hash went well and no one got killed/lost/injured I learnt that I needed to leave longer gaps from the circles so that it took more time for the front running bastards to find stuff so that the group stayed together more. In total I had run 11 miles setting the trail , running the hash and running from my house.

As I had my suspicions about a potential naming ceremony I made sure I dumped ALL of my flour before I finished.

An anchor means 'Popeye Woz Ere'

In the Car Park at the end of the run we had the usual end of run 'huddle' . As various people started asking me if I had any flour left I wisely put my phone and camera in my bag and prepared myself for a 'naming'




Pancake day comes one day early

I was deeply touched that the hashers had spent so many weeks thinking about my potential name. It shows in what high regard they must hold me. Unfortunately for me they had brought plently of extra flour. Most hashing names are rude and loosely relevant to the person, for example a lady that works in customer services is called Satisfaction Guaranteed or Claires dad is a lawyer and called Loose Article.
The options considered included 'turned out nice again' because I play the banjolele and am a window cleaner, 'cock' because I keep chickens, ' Oh Bee - Have' because I keep Honeybees but based on my 'microbiology' degree (actually I am a molecular biologist!) and the fact that I keep chickens and found a parrot on a hash once they decided on my hash name as.....

LITTLE PECKER

Arise 'Little Pecker' (complete with pink bunny tail)

When naming all the women hashers get to pour beer and flour over the named persons head. I can tell you that once this 'batter' sets it takes A LOT of washes to get it out. I also had to down beer for being the Hare AND for being named. By the time I got home I was very drunk.

Battered

It was great to get named. I really feel like part of the club now, especially as I have now led a hash too. I got named at the place where I did my first ever hash run and also got to do it on a night when we ran part of the Greensand Way.

I hear Dave is joining The Hash House Harriers near him in Portsmouth soon.... Cant wait to see what name he gets !



On On !


Little Pecker

:)

I Love Hash

Its about time I explained Hash House Harriers. Claire and I are members of the Guildford Hash House Harriers . Their Website can be found here http://www.guildfordh3.org.uk/

Hashing has very few rules. Anything goes and usually does. The club meets every monday evening at 7.30pm at various off road running locations around the Guildford area. In essence a 'hare' lays a trail of flour for the rest of the pack to follow and chase over a 4-5 mile course. On the way there are usually false trails, 'checking areas' where you dont know which footpath to take and unintended chaos which all allow the slower runners in the group (the knitting circle) to catch up with the faster runners in the group (the front running bastards).  Members quickly gain a club 'name' for which they are only known when hashing. Claire is Scrum Muffin. I have yet to be named.......more about this later.

A Flour Circle denotes that all paths leading away have to be checked to see which is the correct route

Burns Night Hash

It was no surprise that a large number of us turned up to The Talbot pub in Ripley in Scottish attire.This was the nearest date to Burns Night.  Following a quick 'circle' and the usual useless brief from this weeks Hare we ran off into the darkness where Scrum Muffins dad 'Loose Article' took a rather dramatic tumble in the first few minutes and earned him self a 'tumbling tosser' (fell over) 'down down' (drink pint of beer as a punishment) at the end of the run.

Scrum Muffin cold and ready to start

The run lead us through the canal navigations and a golf course all round the Ripley area. The runs are always fun and its one of the rare times I run without listening to music. All you hear is the distant shout of 'On On' as someone spies the next mark of flour on the ground somewhere in the distance........or 'checking' as we wander aimlessly trying to find the lost path.




This Hasher has no name


After about 60-80 minutes of total chaos most of the runners make it back to the car park where they started. There seems to casual regard for injured or lost runners which I always find amusing.

At this stage a circle forms up and those 'sinners' that have done something stupid are made to have a 'down down' In the past I have been made to do a down down for having matching leggings to Claire or for shrieking like a girl when I slipped on mud.




Loose Article gets a Tumbling Tosser Down Down


This is also the time a new member gets named. This involves a rapid decision on a pun on the persons name or profession (usually as rude as possible) and then a customary soaking in beer and flour. Last night a chap called Mark who was the brother of Hasher 'Birthing Blanket' ended up with the obvious hash name 'Birth Mark'

Arise 'Birth Mark'

Runner Who?

So far i have escaped naming. This is ominous..... I am simultaneously honoured and terrified that the club feel the need to spend so much time deciding. Having already found a parrot on a hash run , been a window cleaner that also plays the uke like george formby, and various other things I would think I would be an easy target for naming........

Neeps and tatties with Haggis

For a special Burns Night treat we also had haggis, neeps and tatties at the Talbot. Usually we just have a beer or 5 and then go home tired and tipsy. Scrum Muffin lead an excellent toast to the gents and one of the hashers even reworded Hotel California on the guitar as an ode to hashing.

Scrum Muffins address to the Gents

A Drinking Club with a Running Problem

Dont worry if a lot of this doesnt make sense. Im still fairly clueless too. What I can tell you is that this a great way to do exercise in a fun way. The chanting songs , the shouting, the drinking and the camerarderie reminds me of a rugby away match. Its another interesting way to mix up your training or fitness programme, meet a load of new people and give you something other than playing ukulele on a Monday night (more on Ukes in another post). its cheaper than a gym session and ten times funnier.

go to their main website to find your local chapter http://www.hhh.org.uk/



On On !