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Tuesday, 13 March 2012

The Greensand Way Phrasebook and Dictionary

As our training has progressed so has our own language. We thought it might be useful to translate what we are talking about. Our next few blogs will cover our 55 mile weekend so we thought this would be a good time to explain some of the words and phrases we have started using when running. As we have run the Surrey section of The Greensand Way in a strange order we have also put this phrasebook in a non alphabetical order too.

Ooopsiwahli (noun) - amalgamation of stiles, signs, fences and instructions in varying directions causing direction confusion

a potential Ooopsiwahli on the Greensand Way near Limpsfield

Reh- (noun) a moment where things are not going as well as hoped.

Reh Reh Reh (noun) The moment when Lee goes very quiet as the last of his remaining glycogen is used up and he 'hits the wall'

Smize (verb) - smiling with your eyes . An America's Next Top Model phrase. The 'Sm' has been used for smiling with other body parts too in Greensand Way Photos such as 'smack' - smiling with your back and 'smotch' - Smiling with your crotch.

Science - (noun) denotes anything battery powered that is used for communication or navigation . We usually talk about 'checking science' when we are 'unsure of our exact location'. Science never works when you need it....... And is always there to berate you when you dont need it.

Sports Drink (noun) - any high calorie high alcohol beverage - perfect for carb-loading before or after any training run. Ale, lager, champagne, Jagerbombs and Cognac all fall under this category. If you don't believe us, try it! (Please carb-load responsibly)

enjoying 'Sports Drink' at the end of a marathon run on the Greensand Way at the Wotton Hatch Pub

Tumbling Tosser (noun) - hash term for a person who has temporarily horizontally repositioned their body mid-run without necessarily planning to do so.

On On - (exclamation) - a hash term, shouted when a Greensand Way sign has been seen and we are temporarily 'sure' of our position (or "on flour").

The final Greensand Way Sign at the Haslemere end

Petrol (exclamation) - a word shouted when a vehicle approaches (another hash term).

Ding Ding (exclamation) - a word shouted when a bicycle approaches.

Donny Osmond (exclamation) - a word shouted when a 'crazy horse' approaches

A crazy horse we encountered on the Greensand Way

Get me off this godforsaken hill - self explanatory.

Vango Banshee 200 - denotes any restful high quality sleeping area

Doody - verb and noun - a situation or person associated with that which is faecal

Big Doody - see doody ...only bigger. You know big doody? Yeah, you do. YOU DO KNOW BIG DOODY.
That is some Big Doody on the Greensand Way. 

Nothing at all / Shiny Bums - tight fitting lycra clothing, made by 2XU or similar. This term inspired by Stupid Sexy Flanders in the Simpsons - Usually comes with the side effect of bum-seam-split paranoia.

Walky Pills - medication that allows you to move again. After extensive clinical trials we have found Cocodamol to be the most effective walky pills available. (Don't abuse drugs, kids.)

If in doubt its always uphill / Rule 1 of the Greensand Way - Whenever 2 path options present themselves, and you aren't sure which one is correct......the correct one for the Greensand Way is always the steeper uphill one. (If it appears to be downhill, you are probably going the wrong way)

Souvenir Stitch Up - With weight at a premium, the idea is to get souvenirs for each other that are a total nightmare to carry.

Souvenir Stitch up on the greensand way ' I got you this!'

Fnar / Fnar fnar - Said at the end of any double entendre. Can be used in place of a laugh when one is just too tired, but still wish to acknowledge this double entendre.

Shatner Pants - The very high waisted jogging warm trousers Lee wears after running to stay warm, reminiscent of the truss William Shatner is alleged to have worn in the later Star Trek movies.

'Please Remove This' - Any photo that isn't as flattering as we would like. These are generally deleted off the memory card, which is then burnt, along with the camera, and any witnesses are bribed or threatened.

Front bald spots showing, manic smile, what looks like a mad blue hat. this is a classic 'please remove this' on the Greensand Way halfway point

I'm sure we will add to this list as time goes on. Be sure to refer back to this blog from time to time as we are bound to add more, and talk less and less sense as training progresses.

If you all ask nicely enough we might do a whole blog just on 'Please Remove This' photos.... (but nobody wants to see them, right?!)

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